Why Relationships Need Support
Modern life can place unique stressors on romantic relationships. From financial pressures to navigating a work-life balance, communication breakdowns, and unresolved trauma, it's no wonder that even the most loving couples can find themselves struggling. According to the American Psychological Association, nearly 40-50% of married couples in the United States eventually divorce (Miller, 2013), and even more experience long periods of dissatisfaction or disconnect. While relationship issues are common, they are not insurmountable. This is where couples therapy, or marriage counseling, comes in.What Is Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy is a form of psychotherapy specifically designed to support and facilitate couples to understand and resolve conflicts, improve their communication skills, and rebuild emotional intimacy. It is also known as marriage counseling. When delivered by a licensed marriage and family therapist or other qualified mental health professional, relationship therapy can assist both partners in creating a healthier dynamic and meet their relationship needs more effectively.
What Is Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling is a subtype of relationship therapy that specifically targets issues within a marital relationship. It can support married couples in navigating a range of problems, including emotional or physical infidelity, parenting conflicts, and intimacy challenges. While often used interchangeably, marital therapy typically focuses more on married couples, or those on the verge of marriage, such as during premarital counseling.
When to Seek Couples or Marriage Counseling:
Many couples wait until they are in crisis before seeking help, but therapy is often most effective when used proactively. Here are some common reasons couples seek counseling:-
Frequent arguments or ongoing disagreements
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Feelings of emotional disconnection or loneliness
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Trust issues, including infidelity
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Problems related to sex or intimacy
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Major life changes, such as job loss, illness, or having children
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Considering separation, or on the verge of divorce
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Navigating challenges related to sexual orientation or identity
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Dealing with psychological problems, such as anxiety, depression, or trauma
Research published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy suggests that couples therapy can help reduce emotional distress, improve communication, and enhance relationship satisfaction. Couples counseling can be useful even when one partner is dealing with mental health concerns, substance use disorder, or complex relational trauma.
Types of Couples and Marriage Therapy
There are several types of therapy, each rooted in evidence-based research and providing unique tools to aid couples in addressing their relationship or martial problems. Some of the most effective and widely used include:1. Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT)
EFT is a short-term form of therapy grounded in attachment theory. It helps partners recognize and restructure negative interaction patterns and increase emotional responsiveness. Clinical trials show that EFT improves relationship satisfaction in up to 90% of couples. (source??)2. Gottman Method Couples Counseling
Developed by psychologists John and Julie Gottman, this evidence-based approach supports couples in strengthening their friendship, managing conflict, and building shared meaning. It relies on decades of research with thousands of couples and includes practical tools to improve communication and reduce defensiveness.3. Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT)
IBCT is a blend of traditional behavioral interventions and emotional acceptance strategies. It supports couples to identify destructive behavior cycles and learn to respond with compassion rather than criticism. IBCT is especially effective for couples dealing with entrenched relationship patterns.4. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT uses mindfulness and acceptance principles to help couples accept difficult emotions and commit to value-driven actions. ACT encourages couples to cultivate psychological flexibility and better align their relationship goals.5. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT for couples focuses on identifying and changing distorted thoughts and behaviors that contribute to conflict. It is a form of therapy that promotes constructive problem-solving and realistic expectations.6. Narrative Therapy
Narrative therapy helps couples externalize their problems and reframe their relationship story. It encourages partners to view issues as challenges they face together, rather than inherent flaws in themselves or each other.7. Marital and Family Therapy
This broader form of therapy focuses not just on the couple but also on how familial patterns and dynamics influence the relationship. It often includes family therapists working with couples to better understand their family dynamics, relationships, and roles. These modalities are Bowen Family Systems, Structural Couples Therapy, and Strategic Couples Therapy.What Happens in a Therapy Session?
A typical session lasts about 50 minutes. In the first session, the therapist will conduct an intake to understand each partner's perspective, relationship history, and treatment goals. Together, the couple and therapist define the structure of their counseling sessions. While in some types of therapy, you may begin by looking at family history and relational dynamics, in others, such as CBT or the Gottman Method, therapy might begin by looking at core issues and learning skills such as:-
Active listening
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Empathy
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Perspective taking
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Conflict resolution
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Communication
A therapist might invite the couple to learn or practice these skills through role-play scenarios or homework assignments.
Couples counseling services can be customized depending on the couple’s preferences and the therapist’s modality. Some forms of therapy include individual therapy sessions alongside joint sessions to address personal triggers or trauma that may impact the relationship.
The number of sessions varies, but couples generally begin to see improvements after 6–12 sessions. Long-term therapy may be necessary for deeper issues such as emotional or physical abuse, chronic psychological problems, or addiction.
How Therapy Can Support Couples
Research indicates that couples therapy can improve your relationship, even if you're currently facing serious issues. A meta-analysis published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that over 70% of couples report improved satisfaction after therapy.
(source: verywell)
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A safe space to express your thoughts and feelings
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Clarity on your current relationship patterns
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Guidance toward shared relationship goals
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Tools to address mental health concerns as a couple
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Ways to improve communication and resolve disagreements
Virtual Therapy Options and Online Support
Online therapy is becoming increasingly popular, especially among couples with busy schedules, those in rural areas, or those who prefer the privacy of their own home. If you’re unable to find a therapist in your area that provides telehealth, services like Talkspace, Calmerry, Panic Away, and Online-Therapy.com offer a range of online marriage counseling services with licensed professionals.
Talkspace: Offers video sessions, messaging support, and access to licensed therapists for individuals and couples.
Calmerry: Known for its affordability and flexible plans, Calmerry provides access to trained counselors for online relationship work.Panic Away: Originally an anxiety-focused platform, Panic Away has expanded to address relationship anxiety and related issues.
Who Provides Couples Counseling?
Several licensed professionals can offer couples therapy:-
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFTs)
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Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSWs)
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Licensed Professional Counselors (LPCs)
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Licensed Psychologists (PHDs or PsyDs)
Common Misconceptions
Many people believe that only couples on the verge of divorce should seek counseling. However, seeking therapy early can prevent deterioration and help partners connect. Another myth is that therapy means one partner is to blame. In reality, relationship issues usually stem from patterns of interaction, unresolved emotions, and external pressures.Therapy has evolved over the decades. Where it once focused solely on resolving conflict, therapy now appears more integrative, attending to emotional bonding, shared values, and long-term satisfaction.
A Way to Improve, Not Just Repair
Relationship counseling is not just for fixing what’s broken, it’s a way to improve your relationship proactively. Counseling can help strengthen emotional bonds, build trust, and develop practical tools for conflict management. Whether you seek therapy due to a crisis or a desire for growth, a therapist can help you and your partner create a more successful relationship.The approaches to therapy discussed in this article, such as emotionally focused therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and narrative therapy, provide evidence-based pathways for change. For couples and families willing to commit to the process, the rewards are often long-lasting.
If you and your partner are navigating relationship challenges, consider reaching out to a marriage counselor or exploring virtual therapy options. Counseling helps couples reconnect, reflect, and realign. The right counselor can make all the difference. You can find a therapist in your area by using psychologytoday.com or by calling the number on the back of your insurance card.Thinking About Couples Therapy? Start With This.
Before (or alongside) couples therapy, try the DeeperTalk Intimacy Deck, a powerful tool to open up communication, build emotional safety, and reconnect through 300+ vulnerable, playful, and revealing questions and activities. Whether you’re facing challenges or simply want to grow closer, this conversational card deck creates space for honest conversations that will deepen your trust and intimacy.
This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical or psychological advice. If you or your partner is in immediate distress or facing emotional or physical abuse, please seek professional support immediately.
